WTF Daily — April 14, 2026

WTF, Daily

Wondering what the fuck is going on each day? Same.

Tuesday, April 14, 2026

Good morning — oil has come back down from its perch, Mark Zuckerberg has unveiled something called Muse Spark, and the IMF has found reasons to be both cheerful and alarmed, which is more or less its natural state. Here's what happened.

AI Tech News

Meta Unveils Muse Spark and Quietly Buries Its Open-Source Principles in an Unmarked Grave

Meta has released Muse Spark, the inaugural model from its grandly named Superintelligence Labs, and the occasion is notable for at least two reasons — the model itself, which performs respectably across multimodal, reasoning, and agentic tasks, and the rather significant fact that it is entirely closed-source. This represents a pivot of some consequence for a company that has spent the better part of four years positioning itself as the principled champion of open AI, waving the Llama models about like a banner. The man responsible for the change is Alexandr Wang, the Scale AI co-founder whom Zuckerberg recruited as chief AI officer for a consideration that included $14.3 billion and a 49% stake in Wang's former company — a sum that, one supposes, buys a certain latitude to reverse long-held positions.

Muse Spark, originally code-named Avocado — a fruit that contains multitudes — is now available in Meta AI on the web and the company's app, with deployment to Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Messenger, and the Ray-Ban Meta glasses to follow. The model's arrival signals that Wang's nine months of tenure have produced something Meta is confident enough to show in public, which is itself a minor milestone; the company's recent AI efforts have had the consistency of a soufflé prepared during a fire drill. Whether Muse Spark represents genuine superintelligence, or merely a very capable conventional model dressed in aspirational branding, is a question the benchmark results will answer in approximately the next forty-eight hours.

Source: TechCrunch

The AI Benchmark Arms Race Reaches Heights That Would Alarm Anyone Who Understood What They Meant

The latest rankings of frontier AI models present a picture that would have been dismissed as science fiction by anyone reading it in 2022, and possibly by a few people reading it now. Anthropic's Claude Opus 4.6 and Google's Gemini 3.1 Pro are currently leading the field with accuracy scores exceeding fifty percent on Humanity's Last Exam — a benchmark deliberately constructed to resist AI capabilities by drawing on problems that, as the name rather heavily implies, were expected to be beyond machine reach. Humanity's Last Exam was launched as the benchmark that would hold the line. It has been holding it for approximately eight months.

The commercial picture is equally brisk: Anthropic is approaching $19 billion in annualised revenue, while OpenAI has surpassed $25 billion and is making early preparations for a late-2026 IPO — a sequence of numbers that would have prompted the average venture capitalist, circa 2019, to lie down in a darkened room. The generative AI tools available to American consumers are now estimated to generate $172 billion in annual value, with the median per-user figure having tripled between 2025 and 2026, suggesting that whatever is happening with these models, at least some of it is proving useful to people who are not primarily interested in the benchmarks.

Source: IEEE Spectrum

US Politics

Trump Says Iran "Wants a Deal," and Markets, Desperate for Good News, Choose to Believe Him

Less than forty-eight hours after ordering a naval blockade of the Strait of Hormuz and sending oil past $103 a barrel, President Trump has reversed the emotional trajectory of global markets by announcing that Iranian officials have telephoned and expressed a desire to negotiate. "They want to work a deal," Trump informed reporters with the air of a man who has been expecting this call all along, which may or may not be true but is certainly effective messaging. Oil retreated sharply on the news, European shares advanced 0.6%, and Asian technology stocks led a 1.8% regional rally — the financial equivalent of a collective exhale from an audience that had been holding its breath since Sunday.

Pakistan has again offered to host the next round of talks in Islamabad, displaying a commitment to diplomatic hospitality that deserves some form of recognition even if the talks themselves continue to conclude in the same manner as the previous ones. The structural difficulties — Iran's insistence on a ceasefire in Lebanon and the release of frozen assets, America's demand for enrichment to stop, the Strait to reopen, and the general atmosphere of mutual distrust — remain exactly as they were on Saturday, which is to say formidable. The markets, however, are not philosophers; they have decided that a phone call constitutes progress, and one hesitates to argue with a 1.8% rally before breakfast.

Source: Al Jazeera

Pam Bondi Declines Her Congressional Deposition, and Democrats Discover They Have Nowhere to Send the Subpoena

The House panel investigating the Epstein files has encountered a procedural wrinkle of the kind that would delight a constitutional law professor and infuriate everyone else: Pam Bondi, the former Attorney General who was subpoenaed in her capacity as Attorney General, will not be appearing for today's scheduled deposition because she is no longer the Attorney General. The Justice Department's position, delivered with the sort of technical precision that suggests several lawyers thought about it carefully, is that the subpoena was addressed to an office that Bondi no longer holds, and one cannot, apparently, compel a private citizen to appear by simply addressing the paperwork to a title they once held. The committee will now contact Bondi's personal counsel "to discuss next steps," a phrase that translates, in practice, to "starting the process over."

The Epstein probe has been generating this sort of procedural friction with the regularity of a mechanism specifically engineered to produce it. Democrats, who have pursued the matter with the persistence of a terrier that has located something interesting behind the skirting board, continue to insist that the public interest in the files outweighs the administrative inconveniences. Meanwhile, California Representative Eric Swalwell, who withdrew from the state's governor's race on Sunday night amid sexual misconduct allegations, is now facing calls from fellow Democrats to resign from Congress altogether — a reminder that this particular Tuesday in Washington is not running short of incident.

Source: NBC News

Science

Scientists Discover 110 New Species in the Coral Sea, Confirming the Ocean Has Been Hiding Quite a Lot

CSIRO researchers, working aboard the vessel RV Investigator in collaboration with the Nippon Foundation-Nekton Ocean Census, have announced the discovery of more than 110 species new to science in the deep waters of the Coral Sea Marine Park — a number that rather makes one feel that the planet has not yet finished introducing itself. The creatures were found at depths between 2,000 and 3,000 metres, in a region that has historically received rather less scientific attention than waters closer to the surface, on the grounds that the crushing pressure and total darkness make it an inconvenient place to conduct fieldwork. Among the new arrivals are four previously unknown fish species — a chimaera, a deepwater catshark, a stingaree ray, and a skate — plus a remarkable quantity of invertebrates whose formal descriptions are still being compiled.

The headline figure sits within a larger tally that underscores the ocean's talent for concealment: in its first twelve years of operation, RV Investigator has helped describe 179 species new to science, yet scientists estimate that more than 1,500 additional new species from collected specimens are still awaiting formal description — essentially waiting in a queue, preserved in jars, while their paperwork is processed. The smallest of the new Coral Sea finds is a crustacean measuring 2.5 millimetres, collected from four kilometres beneath the surface, which suggests that the ocean is not merely vast but also committed to making its smallest residents as difficult as possible to notice.

Source: CSIRO

Cancer Researchers Convene in San Diego, Armed With Rather More Promising Data Than Last Year

The American Association for Cancer Research Annual Meeting opens Thursday in San Diego, drawing researchers from across the oncology field to present what promises to be a particularly rich slate of data — rich enough that the conference has been described, in the measured language of press releases, as "highly anticipated," which in scientific circles is roughly equivalent to standing ovations. Among the presentations expected to generate the most discussion are advances in personalised cancer vaccines, which use mRNA technology to train the immune system against a patient's specific tumour mutations; updated results from antibody-drug conjugate trials, which have been delivering survival benefits that were, until recently, considered optimistic; and early data on AI-assisted diagnostics capable of detecting cancers at stages where treatment outcomes are substantially better.

The meeting arrives at a moment when the broader oncology pipeline is, by historical standards, unusually productive. Mortality rates for several major cancer types have declined in each of the past five years, driven by a combination of earlier detection and treatments that are increasingly precise about which cells they destroy and which they leave alone. Researchers at Penn Medicine's Abramson Cancer Center will present new findings on CAR-T cell therapies and liquid biopsy applications — areas where the gap between what is theoretically possible and what is clinically available has been narrowing with a speed that even the optimists find gratifying. The conference runs through April 22, after which a substantial number of papers will be published in journals where the rest of us can read them and feel cautiously encouraged.

Source: Penn Medicine

Economy

The IMF Upgrades Its Global Growth Forecast, Then Immediately Explains Why One Shouldn't Get Too Excited

The International Monetary Fund has released its April 2026 World Economic Outlook — a document that has the feel of a school report written by someone who genuinely likes the student but has spent rather too long in the staffroom. The headline number is 3.3% global growth for 2026, an upgrade from October's estimates that reflects, per the IMF, genuine resilience in technology investment, more supportive-than-expected fiscal policy, and a private sector that has adapted to post-pandemic trade disruptions faster than the models anticipated. The United States receives the organisation's most positive major-economy assessment, powered by AI investment, consumer spending, and the tax provisions of the One Big Beautiful Bill Act — a legislative instrument whose name continues to generate more commentary than its contents.

The caveats arrive promptly, in the manner of a butler who has been standing just outside the door. The upgrade comes with warnings about inflation trajectories, conflict risks, defence spending pressures, and what the IMF calls "sharply less equal" distribution of growth — the last being a polite way of noting that 3.3% global growth covers a great deal of ground between those doing rather well and those doing rather poorly. The Iran conflict represents the organisation's most prominent near-term risk, given its potential to extend energy disruptions through a supply chain that was already operating with less slack than anyone would ideally prefer. The report is, in short, the economic equivalent of a doctor who delivers good news and then suggests one sit down before the next part.

Source: IMF

Goldman Sachs Reports $17 Billion in Revenue, and Wall Street's Fee Machine Hums Contentedly Along

Goldman Sachs opened earnings season Monday with net revenues of $17.23 billion and net earnings of $5.63 billion for the first quarter — numbers that, read aloud in a room containing people who were told in 2022 that rising rates would end the investment banking party, might produce a certain awkward silence. Diluted earnings per share came in at $17.55, comfortably ahead of estimates, driven by investment banking fees that surged as companies rushed to complete deals before geopolitical uncertainty could complicate the pipeline further. JPMorgan reports this morning, with analysts expecting earnings per share of $5.45 on revenues of around $49 billion, which would represent the sort of quarter that most businesses would regard as a thoroughly satisfactory year.

The broader earnings season — which also brings Netflix, BlackRock, Johnson & Johnson, and Morgan Stanley to the confessional in the coming days — is being watched as what analysts are calling the "definitive litmus test" for the American economy, a phrase that will seem prescient or overwrought depending entirely on what the numbers say. The particular curiosity this quarter is how banks are characterising the Iran conflict's effect on dealmaking appetite: whether clients have paused, pivoted, or — in the manner of experienced capital allocators who have seen several crises and learned to work around them — simply carried on. Goldman's results suggest, at minimum, that the last group remains numerically significant.

Source: Goldman Sachs

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